Taking The Next Step In Your Relationship Can Feel Both Exciting And Scary – Are You Ready?
Couples Getting Premarital Counseling Have A 30% Better Chance Of Staying Married!
Many couples find themselves at a point in their relationship where the next step is either moving in together or getting married (or both). It is at this time that you may feel a little overwhelmed with both excitement and fear.
You may have known each other for a while and feel comfortable in each other’s company but now you are considering a more long term commitment and don’t want to make any mistakes by being impulsive and jumping into something too quickly.
These decisions are often driven by the strong feelings partners have for each other. But there also may be doubts or other considerations that are likely to be floating around in your mind and should be addressed before making that really big decision.
What’s on your mind? You have questions but…
Are there things you have been thinking about that give you pause? Are your styles really compatible? Is there something you would like to ask or talk about but feel too awkward to do so? Do you want to talk more about family issues? Do you feel you know enough about your partner?
When you’re in love and the chemistry feels right you may not want to bring things up that might potentially cause some discomfort.
There could be many thoughts you keep to yourself for this reason.
Her parents are divorced and don’t get along. He makes more money than you. She has many friends of the opposite sex. He works long hours or travels a lot for work. She smokes pot or uses drugs recreationally or may drink too often or too much. He is estranged from family. The list can go on and on.
It may be too difficult to talk about these and other subjects with your partner but you realize that the issues do not go away just because you don’t discuss them!
This is a common problem
All partners face this problem. Everyone who approaches making the serious life commitment of marriage (or even moving in together) has personal doubts somewhere in the back of their minds…they just don’t talk about it to each other!
You may keep things to yourself to keep the peace or simply not to make waves. Or you may not want to think about them too much guessing that they will somehow magically get resolved.
When you harbor thoughts that don’t get expressed your imagination sometimes takes you to darker places.
Most couples I have worked with are quite relieved to be able to discuss their issues in a safe place with someone who can facilitate a productive discussion.
How Premarital Counseling Can Help You Build a Better Relationship
Premarital counseling helps you create the groundwork for a stronger more long lasting relationship. Here are some of the important skills you will learn:
- You will learn to how to communicate effectively and create a dialogue.
- You will learn how to navigate through difficult subjects respectfully.
- You will learn how to fight or argue fairly, without “bloodshed”.
- You will learn how to deal with your potential in-laws and set boundaries for the future.
- You will learn how to work together as a team, setting collective goals and working together to achieve them.
Going through this process can help you to create a closer, more intimate relationship. It can also help to prevent potential misunderstandings and arguments which can lead to crisis.
In fact in a survey conducted by the Journal of Family Psychology it was found that couples engaging in premarital counseling education had a 31% fewer chance of divorce.
In other words premarital counseling can help improve your chances of remaining married by over 30%!
Some Common Questions Couples Have About Premarital Counseling
What if I am the only one who thinks we need this?
Many couples have this issue at first. One partner (often the female) will want to address some things in premarital counseling but the other is not ready yet. I will often work with one of the partners until the other begins to get curious and decides to come in.
Think of this as relationship education or coaching. There are specific strategies and skills that you both will learn. This is NOT about psychoanalyzing you or your partner or trying to “cure” you of some mental health issue.
This IS about team building and learning how to successfully launch a marriage!
What if we are too busy and really don’t have the time to come to your office?
I frequently work with clients who are out of the area and can’t come to my office. We have distant sessions with Zoom or Skype. It is very convenient, can be done in the comfort of your home or office and is a free program.
In fact, even if the two of you are in different locations we can use these digital platforms to visually conference the three of us. Think of premarital counseling as relationship coaching.
What if one or both of us have been married before?
Couples who have already been married and are now in another serious love relationship can benefit greatly from premarital counseling. They have their previous marriages or relationships as reference to draw from and can think of many issues that could have been explored in premarital counseling before they got married the first time.
We expect to be married soon, how long does this take?
Unless there is some type of crisis a couple is dealing with, about 4 sessions should do it. However, sometimes a couple may have an issue that is already causing some concern and may even be creating serious doubt. They may need a little more time.
Are you the right choice for me?
Great question…here’s the answer:
If you are looking for a person with 25 years of experience of working with all types of couples then YES!
If you are looking for someone who has been married for at least that many years and has worked out most of the “kinks” using the very strategies I will help you to learn then YES!
If you are looking for a person who understands what it takes to build a team and continues to learn more about relationships every day then YES!
Services are rendered either at my office located at 2999 NE 191 St. Suite 703, Miami, Florida 33180 or through video conference. Serving all of the greater Miami area or, through video conference, anywhere that there is broadband internet connection.