Viewing pornography has become a very popular pastime.

The internet provides easy access to pornographic content whenever the mood strikes. PornHub, one of the world’s most popular online porn sites, reported in 2019, that it got no less than 115 million visits per day.

Unsurprisingly, more than two thirds of those visitors were men.

Why Do Men Watch Porn?

Sexual excitement is the primary driver. Because most men react to visual sexual stimuli, viewing pornography can activate or further fuel arousal.

Advocates and frequent viewers often cite the following reasons for its appeal:

• Variety. Pornography provides a way to view many diverse types of sexual activity that may not be available in daily life.
• Fantasy. Pornography allows men to explore their fantasies in a private, non-threatening way.
• Immediate Gratification. Erotic partner(s) never avoid sex in pornographic videos. They are never too tired to perform. They are always eager to participate. They appear to enjoy act whatever sexual act they are engaged in.
• Rejection Proof. Erotic partner(s) never avoid sex in pornographic videos. They are never too tired to perform. They are always eager to participate. They appear to enjoy act whatever sexual act they are engaged in.
• Accessibility. Even in healthy relationships, a partner may not be available or willing at the exact moment an individual feels the urge.
• Heightened arousal. Visual stimulation makes masturbation and climax more quickly achievable. Dopamine, the neurotransmitter most associated with arousal, is highly activated or spiked during porn viewing. This increased level of dopamine activity is often correlated with addiction. Heightened arousal can often be attributed to the Coolidge Effect, a phenomenon in males where the presence of a new mate can trigger a surge of dopamine.

The Arguments For Moderate Use Of Pornography

Aside from biological responses, some proponents argue that pornography offers specific benefits when used moderately.

• Bridging the “Desire Gap”: It can help meet sexual needs when partners have different levels of libido or frequency requirements.
• Sexual Communication. Watching porn with a partner can open a dialogue about on improving their sex life.
• Stress Relief: For many, the physical release associated with masturbation to pornography serves as a temporary stress management tool.
• Emotional Outlet:. Porn gives the viewer a sense of choice and empowerment. Some men are challenged by body-image fears, anxiety or depression, PTSD or OCD, or other emotional difficulties. Although watching porn will not solve these significant problems, it can offer an outlet for some relief.
• Sexual Performance: In limited cases, it may provide a stress-free environment for men to navigate performance anxiety. However, experts warn that excessive use often has the opposite effect

The Arguments Against: Porn Watching Can Cause Serious Problems

Over the last few decades, watching porn has become more mainstream and acceptable. We understand that viewing can be a normal experience for both men and women, whether they are single or in a relationship.

However, excessive use of pornography has been shown to have severe consequences.

Negative Brain Function. Excessive porn watching can have the effect of rewiring the brain, causing potentially catastrophic effects such as depression and Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction (PIED). Reports of this phenomenon in men has increased significantly in recent years and strongly suggests that it correlates to the increase in the accessibility of high-frequency use of pornography.

Unreasonable Expectations.

Watching porn could create unreasonable ideas of how a sexual partner should behave. It can be easy to forget that the paid actors are following a carefully crafted script.

In the eagerness to recreate the excitement one gets from pornography, a person may push their partner to act sexier, to have more frequent sex, or to try sexual activities they may not be willing to do. If managed poorly, these desires can lead to frustration, anger, and a sense of dissatisfaction with the entire relationship.

Diminished Intimacy. Excessive porn watching can lead to a reduction in desire for one’s actual partner. It is likely that the more time a man spends watching pornography and creating a digital loop, the less energy and interest he may have for the vulnerability and effort required for real-life intimacy.

Porn Addiction.

The increased interest in viewing pornography has led in recent years to the phenomenon that has come to be known as porn addiction. This develops when when viewing becomes a compulsive, uncontrollable behavior.

In recent years there has been a significant increase in requests for the treatment of porn addiction throughout the country. More compulsive porn users have been showing up at SA (Sexaholics Anonymous) meetings to get help using the 12 Step program used by AA (Alcoholics Anonymous).

The Pornography Dilemma

Pornography has been part of human history for millennia. It is here to stay. How it is used or abused is the question adults need to answer for themselves.

Like any other potentially dangerous experience, proceeding with caution and an open mind is probably the best idea. Adults need to assess the pros and cons and decide how to proceed.

Although pornography can be a hot button issue for couples, it need not lead to serious conflict.

If watching porn has become a trigger for conflict, it may be time for a couple to open a discussion about their sex life. If they cannot do this on their own, it may be time to talk to a professional who can help.

Other articles of interest:

What Is Cheating? What Counts And What Doesn’t

5 Effective Ways To Initiate And Get Good Sex Going

The Top 10 Tips To Spice Up Your Sex Life And Improve Your Marriage

About the Author

Dr. Stan Hyman is a licensed psychotherapist and life coach in private practice in Miami, Florida. He works with couples struggling with powerful issues such as infidelity, careers, intimacy, and communication. He also specializes in treating addictions, anger, anxiety, stress, depression and work-life balance.

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