Why Couples Therapy Makes Sense When You’re Happy
Most couples come to therapy when it is almost too late. Things have gotten to a point where spouses may be so fed up with each other that they feel they need to either get help or get divorced.
A great deal of damage can be done as a result of waiting too long before opting for help. Think about it, years of anger and resentment can build up before a couple decides to reach out for guidance.
It may seem counter intuitive for a couple doing well together to get marriage counseling but in truth it’s not.
All couples experience challenges that can be difficult to navigate (children, job changes, financial issues, sickness in the family, in-laws, etc.).
If spouses are getting along well and they anticipate that they may run into a rough patch they are much more likely to make optimal use of marriage counseling to better navigate through it.
Research shows that couples that are doing well benefit greatly from counseling because they are more ready to cooperate and work together.
Here is how couples therapy helps when you are happy:
Couples Therapy is a Well-Relationship Checkup
Prevention is the best protection you can give your relationship.
Therapy is more beneficial during happy periods because it tends to amplify intimacy and increase positive feelings towards each other. Learning new skills and practicing them is far more enjoyable when you are not feeling desperate and stressed about your marriage.
You and your partner are emotionally focused and open when you’re happy.
You do not have to contend with the strain of being walled off from each other by suffering, resentment, or a myriad of life distractions that tend to consume a couple.
Essentially, therapy can act as a routine relationship checkup.
Your therapist, a relationship expert, provides an objective perspective on the status of things and lends a trained eye to the ins and outs of your connection.
You and your partner are afforded a safe place to be curious about your relationship, examine it, and take measures to keep things running well.
Couples Therapy Helps Keep Conflict Productive
People living together are likely to disagree, at least occasionally. How disagreements are handled however, respectfully listening to the other’s point of view for example, determines how satisfied each partner will feel in their relationship.
If the secret to your happy relationship is that you “never fight,” you might want to take a look at why.
Do you see disagreement as aggression and are afraid it might cause a breakup? Are you fearful conflict in any form will ruin your happiness? Are you afraid of potentially upsetting your partner and only seek their approval?
Therapy can help you consider areas you might be avoiding or afraid to address.
You can learn how to productively rock the boat without sinking it. It is worth learning how to develop a respect for healthy conflict as a way to communicate and grow.
Happy, healthy relationships are relationships that cope with, survive, and mature through a wide range of challenges that include disagreements and conflict.
Your therapist can help you learn to cope with and communicate through those tough conversations and varying viewpoints without compromising your individual values and joint contentment.
Couples Therapy Helps You Navigate Transition
Things change. Life happens. The clichés are true.
Your happiness as a couple might be affected by time if you aren’t prepared for what’s coming.
It’s often easy to think you know each other so well that you know what makes your partner happy. Checking in with a therapist helps you remember to check in with each other.
Many couples find that therapy uncovers shifts in their partner’s desires, hopes, and dreams. Starting a family, adjusting to relocation, career milestones, aging, and more may affect relationship satisfaction.
Couples therapy during happier seasons can help you look ahead, ask some questions, and gain some clarity as your life together progresses. Therapy can also help you see signs of trouble or simply highlight periods of time that require more effort to keep your relationship fulfilling. Again, having that trained eye on your union is invaluable.
You should think of therapy as much more than relationship damage control.
Couples therapy can be one of your most valuable sources of relationship education. It can also become a consistent, reassuring demonstration of how much you cherish your happiness together and hope to prolong it.
It just makes sense to do what it takes to keep your good thing going.
It’s wise to do what you must to prepare for future misunderstanding, conflict, or the changes that come with living life.
About the Author
Dr. Stan Hyman is a licensed psychotherapist and life coach in private practice in Miami, Florida. He works with couples struggling with powerful issues such as conflict, infidelity and intimacy. He also specializes in treating addictions, anger, anxiety, stress, depression and work life balance.