Why Men Watch Porn

Viewing pornography has become a very popular pastime.

The internet provides easy access to pornographic content whenever the mood strikes. PornHub, one of the world’s most popular online porn sites, reported in 2019, that it got no less than 115 million visits per day.

Unsurprisingly, more than two thirds of those visitors were men.

Why Do Men Watch Porn?

Sexual excitement is the obvious reason. Because most men react to visual sexual stimuli, viewing pornography can activate or further fuel arousal.

Some of the following are reasons that advocates give for watching porn.

• Variety. Porn channels provide a way to view many diverse types of sexual activity.
• Fantasy. Pornography allows men to explore their fantasies in a private, non-threatening way.
• Immediate Gratification. Watching pornography offers a way to gratify his desires without having to engage with an actual partner. A real-life partner may not approve of the man’s sexual fantasies (or he may be embarrassed by his own erotic imaginings).
• Rejection Proof. Erotic partner(s) never avoid sex in pornographic videos. They are never too tired to perform. They are always eager to participate. They appear to enjoy whatever sexual act in which they are engaged.
• Accessibility. Even if his lover enjoys sex and is a willing partner, there are times when, even if he is ready to engage, they may not be willing or available.
• Heightened arousal. The visual stimulation makes masturbation and climax more quickly achieved. Dopamine, the neurotransmitter most associated with arousal, is highly activated or spiked during porn viewing. This increased level of Dopamine activity is often correlated with addiction. 

The Arguments For Watching Porn

Aside from the dopamine response, pornography advocates make the following arguments for the benefits of watching porn.

• Sexual Needs Met. Pornography can help meet the viewer’s sexual needs when they desire a different amount or frequency of sex than their partner.
• Improved Sexual Communication. Watching porn with a partner can open a dialogue about improving their sex life.
• Masturbating to porn can help relieve stress.
• Choice. Porn gives the viewer a sense of choice and empowerment. Some men are challenged by body-image fears, anxiety or depression, PTSD or OCD, or other emotional difficulties. Although watching porn will not solve these significant problems, it can offer an outlet for some relief.
• Sexual Problems Helped. For men who experience erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, or other sexual concerns, porn provides a stress-free outlet. However, done to excess, watching porn may worsen the problem.

The Arguments Against: Porn Watching Can Cause Serious Problems

Over the last few decades, watching porn has become more mainstream and acceptable. We understand that viewing can be a normal experience for both men and women, whether they are single or in a relationship.

However, excessive use of pornography has been shown to have severe consequences.

Negative Brain Function. Excessive porn watching can have the effect of rewiring the brain, causing potentially catastrophic effects such as depression and erectile dysfunction. Reports of this phenomenon in men has increased significantly in recent years and strongly suggests that it correlates to the increase in the popularity of pornography.

Unreasonable Expectations. Watching porn could create unreasonable ideas of how a sexual partner should behave. It can be easy to forget that the paid actors are following a carefully crafted script.

In his eagerness to recreate the excitement he gets from porn, he may push his partner to act sexier, to have more frequent sex, or to try sexual activities they may not be willing to do. If managed poorly, these desires can lead to frustration, anger, and a sense of dissatisfaction with the entire relationship.

Diminished Interest In His Partner. Excessive porn watching can also lead to a reduction in desire to have sex with his partner. It is likely that the more time a man spends watching pornography and masturbating, the less interest he will have in having intimate sexual encounters with his spouse or partner.

Porn Addiction. The increased interest in viewing pornography has led in recent years to the phenomenon that has come to be labeled porn addiction. This develops when watching porn becomes a compulsive behavior and the compulsion becomes uncontrollable.

In recent years there has been a significant increase in requests for the treatment of porn addiction throughout the country. More compulsive porn users have been showing up at SA (Sexaholics Anonymous) meetings to get help using the 12 Step program used by AA (Alcoholics Anonymous).

The Pornography Dilemma

Pornography has been part of human history for millennia. It is here to stay. How it is used or abused is the question adults need to answer for themselves.

Like any other potentially dangerous experience, proceeding with caution and an open mind is probably the best idea. Adults need to assess the pros and cons and decide how to proceed.

Although pornography can be a hot button issue for couples, it need not lead to serious conflict.

If watching porn has become a trigger for conflict, it may be time for a couple to open a discussion about their sex life. If they cannot do this on their own, it may be time to talk to a professional who can help.

Other articles of interest:

What Is Cheating? What Counts And What Doesn’t

5 Effective Ways To Initiate And Get Good Sex Going

The Top 10 Tips To Spice Up Your Sex Life And Improve Your Marriage

About the Author

Dr. Stan Hyman is a licensed psychotherapist and life coach in private practice in Miami, Florida. He works with couples struggling with powerful issues such as infidelity, careers, intimacy, and communication. He also specializes in treating addictions, anger, anxiety, stress, depression and work-life balance.

.