While sex is a natural and basic human function, establishing a satisfying sex life with your partner can prove challenging.
Aside from the general anatomy of it all, sex widely remains a mystery. Our sexual perceptions often suffer from dramatic and unrealistic views of lovemaking imposed on us by Hollywood, the internet, and our past experiences. Many couples have difficulty understanding their roles between the sheets.
Furthermore, if you are also managing the complications of illness or physical challenges sexual complexities can grow exponentially. Many of these complications require professional assistance to overcome.
If you feel disconnected or dissatisfied in your own sex life, a sex therapist could offer insight and the tools to turn things around.
Many couples have difficulty discussing sex. To avoid feeling judged, rejected or being offensive, they suffer in silence. Thus the barrier of sexual discontent is never breached.
Inevitably, sexual problems continue to marinate, resentment and distance grow, and a wedge is driven between partners.
Sexual attitudes are often shaped by one’s family, culture and upbringing. Growing up in an environment where talk of sex or guidance about it was strictly prohibited can create a narrow, or limited mindset about sexual expression in adulthood. In the extreme some could potentially view sexual expression of any kind to be unpleasant or distasteful.
Sex Therapy can help expose inhibitions and support openness without judgment. Couples are encouraged to become more comfortable talking about sex and listening to each other’s point of view.
A sexual issue, as with any problem, must be exposed and understood before being addressed.
Past hurt, resentment, guilt and any number of other feelings could create a real sexual impasse for couples.
Sex therapy helps to pinpoint the origins of sexual problems or the sense of disconnection between partners.
In a long term committed love relationship, emotions often weigh more heavily on the ability of the couple to enjoy each other sexually than almost any other consideration. Clearly if you want to connect physically you need to feel in sync emotionally.
Sex therapy can identify problematic sticking points and issues and help the couple create solutions.
Sex therapy can help expose the hollowness of myths driven by one’s cultural or familial perspective while encouraging a broader and better understanding about sexual norms and practice.
Sometimes to achieve a more satisfying sex life some measure of sexual re-education may be necessary.
In fact, many couples find that they must spend time learning, reconsidering and practicing more of what works for them in the bedroom. Taking risks with the guidance of a sex therapist can help the couple to reformulate their expectations for the sake of mutual enjoyment.
By breaking down the walls of inhibition and reconsidering preconceived ideas, sex therapy helps debunk what may be mistaken for sexual norms and standards.
Rather than only addressing a sexual issue from one point of view, sex therapy takes into account a multitude of variables.
For instance, treatment for some physical problems, such as taking blood pressure medication for hypertension may result in lower energy and lower libido (at least until the body adjusts to the medication). Using certain anti-depressants can also cause sexual problems.
Diabetes, heart disease, obesity and other medical issues can present a couple with sexual challenges that can cause guilt or resentment.
In addressing the problem, a sex therapist looks at the entire human landscape. The effort is to formulate an acceptable plan to target the sexual issue while considering all aspects of both partner’s lives.
As was mentioned previously, there is often an educational component associated with sex therapy. Much of this education has been formulated from the findings of studies done with couples dealing with intimacy and sex.
Leaving a session with clarity about what next to do and the guidance necessary to achieve the couple’s goals is an objective of sex therapy.
Sex therapy is not just about sex. It is also about achieving more intimacy and connection.
About the Author
Dr. Stan Hyman is a licensed psychotherapist, life coach and Board Certified Clinical Sexologist in private practice in Miami, Florida. He works with couples struggling with powerful issues such as infidelity, careers, intimacy and other sexual issues addressing them in a safe, non-judgmental environment. He also specializes in treating addictions, anger, anxiety, stress, depression and work life balance.
Call or email for a cost-free telephone consultation. Services are rendered either the office located at 2999 NE 191 St. Suite 703, Miami, Florida 33180 or through video conference via Skype or FaceTime. Serving all of the greater Miami, Florida area or, through video conference, anywhere that there is a broadband internet connection.
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